I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. – Lily Tomlin

Archive for the ‘Family Jewels’ Category


Yesterday afternoon my daughter pulled me into her bedroom and said, “Mom, I need to tell you something.”   I sat down with her on her bed and she began telling me how she found out at lunch that her “boyfriend” had another “girlfriend” in another class.  She was devastated.  Heartbroken.  She cried.  I comforted her.  Told her all the things a mother should say.  Things like he isn’t good enough for you, you can find another boyfriend…  YOU’RE ONLY 9 YEARS OLD!  You know, things like that.

You can judge me if you want to, but I’ve read her journal.  She thought she really loved this poor little misguided boy.  I feel so bad for her, but I’m at a real loss for what to do or say.  I think I said all the right things.  By the time we were done, she was smiling so I think it went ok.  When she told her Daddy about it, he joking asked if she wanted him to go beat him up.  She said, very straight faced, that she was going to have her brother take care of it.

And so it begins….

In other news, my son had to have some dental work done yesterday.  I was a little scared for him.  A couple of summers ago, he had run face first into a tree while we were on vacation in Georgia.  The dentist repaired his broken teeth beautifully.  Right before their Fall Break from school in October he took a dodgeball to the face and broke one of the previously broken toofers.  All together he had to have that tooth fixed, a cavity filled, and one tooth pulled to make room for another that is coming in… in the wrong place.

He had asked me if it would hurt.  I couldn’t lie to him.  Just like when he asked me about Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny.  I just could not lie.  I told him that the dentist would give him some shots and yes those would probably hurt, but then his mouth would be numb and it wouldn’t hurt.

He nearly broke my hand while getting those shots, but I was so proud of him because he didn’t make a  sound while getting any of his work done.  He did make a small peep at the end when his tooth was getting pulled, but I think it was more out of surprise than anything else.  He didn’t even ask for any pain relief later on in the evening when the anesthetic had worn off.  My little big man.

I am not prepared for my babies to be not babies anymore.  And HOLY SHIT I’m about to have another baby and do this… All. Over. Again!  Someone should send supplies!  Like Xanex, coffee, and a shot gun.


Four Peas in this Pod + 1

Did anyone guess the announcement?  

We’re having another baby!

This was a huge surprise.  A seriously huge surprise.  I did stop taking birth control a little over a year ago, but I’ve been keeping tabs on ovulation and cycles.  I felt it was time to stop taking them since I’d been on them since Kaia was born in 2001.  The risk of cancers increases the longer you take birth control pills and with a history of cancers in my family, I didn’t want to take any unneeded chances with fate.

I checked with the insurance company to find a midwife in my area.  This morning I call to make an appointment, get through all the information, only to find out she doesn’t do pre-natal care anymore.  I asked if they could recommend another midwife in the area and she said she didn’t know of any.  Great…  I had to fall back on the crazy busy OB/GYN whose receptionist was sweet, nice, and kind.  Guess that’s what I was meant to do in the first place.  My first appointment isn’t until the 22nd though.

I phoned the local health department to schedule an appointment for a test and to apply for WIC.  I used WIC with both of my other children and it was so helpful.  They were pleasant and polite.  That appointment is on Wednesday.

Then I made the mistake of calling the Cabinet for Families and Health Services.  Is it a requirement to be as big a bitch as you can possibly be to work for these people?  Right off the bat, she was very uninterested in even answering the damn phone.  In the most monotone voice available… “This is Tabitha.  How can I help you.”  I smiled because I’ve been told that if you smile while talking on the phone you sound kind, then said I needed to make an appointment.  She went through the routine of asking my name, social, blah, blah, blah… Then asked what my income was.  When I told her that I did not have one, but my husband did, I audibly heard her sigh then say, with a bad attitude, that she was going to need his pay stubs for the entire month of September and October.  I told her that my husband doesn’t get a paper pay stub because his employer had gone green.  She again sighed loudly then informed me that I had to produce something, she would not take a bank statement because that doesn’t show gross income, that she would not take a monthly summary either, she has to have copies of every single paycheck.  Then she informs me that I have to have a statement from someone who is not related to me showing that I wasn’t employed and had no income, plus a statement from my mother-in-law stating how much we pay in rent monthly.  I’m not proud to say I was considering applying for food assistance from the government, but as she was the most unpleasant, rude, aggravating person, I am proud to say that I won’t be doing so now.  It’s already testing of ones pride to ask for assistance, but to be treated so poorly in just the first phone call, was not necessary.  Every little bit helps, but I won’t subject myself to being treated that way.  So screw you Little Miss Tabitha from the Kentucky Cabinet for Families and Health Services, you are a bitch.  I hope you get a UTI.

So yay for our family!  We’re having another baby!!

Boo to you!

Has everyone survived the sugar coma known as Halloween yet?  I avoided the kids candy bags as much as I could.  Neil wasn’t planning on going with us, but as the last minute (Thursday night) he decided he wanted to dress up, but not trick-or-treat.  Then after we actually got out there walking, he wanted to do it.  Ugh… men, even in boy form, are worse than women about decision making.

This has been one of the best weekends that I can remember in quite some time.  I actually convinced the husband to go on a date!  I know!!!  We went out to eat at our favorite restaurant and then headed to a real haunted house for a candle lit tour at the Octagon Hall.  I purchased a few raffle tickets to participate in an overnight ghost hunt!  Everyone cross their fingers that they pick my name for one of the 5 people they are going to choose.  It was a great time and I can’t wait to go back for a regular tour of the house and grounds.

One of the irritating things about living in the Bible Belt is the tendency to refuse to celebrate any type of Pagan holiday, or any holiday that seems Pagan, on a Sunday.  Therefore, we had to do our candy grabbing on Saturday.  It’s all good though, we got to go back to my hometown, spend time with friends, take the kids trick-or-treating, and not have to worry about getting up early the next day for school/work.

Hope every one had a wonderful Halloween weekend and enjoy the week to come!

Turning Bears into Tigers

Back in early October Kaia found herself a wooly worm.  They are technically called a Wooly Bear Caterpillar and they will turn into Isabella Tiger moths in the Spring.  She wanted to keep it, but I told her that we had to let it go so it could prepare for the coming winter.  It wasn’t until after we had let it go that I discovered, you CAN keep them!  So about a week ago, she found another little wooly worm minding his own business and scooped him up.  

He has his own little habitat in our dining room.  He really doesn’t require too much in the way of care.  He has a stick and every day we clean out the old grass (and caterpillar poo) and give him fresh grass.  I try to make sure I get grass in the morning when there is still dew on it.  He’s pretty much become part of our family.  She named him “Catty”… ’cause he’s a cat-erpillar…  She’s so original.

Guess what I found out today?!  Brittany at MommyWords is giving away a Flip Ultra HD camera!  You still have a chance to enter the giveaway by visiting her site here!  The contest ends tomorrow at 9PM so hurry over there and get your name in the pool!

Another Year…

I posted this series of photos back in 2008. I revived them for this post plus I added one. 
It’s my little man’s 11th birthday! 
He still has room to grow, but I’m so proud of all of his accomplishments.  {Forgive the grainy images, I had to scan most of them.}

From Neil & Kaia

I promised a video.  I delivered a video.  I had to go through and cut out some less favorable sections.  Trust me you didn’t want to see the 3-4 minutes of the ground that was recorded. In the background you can hear that screaming 2 year old at the campsite next door. He did that at about 1AM the first night…. Until watching these I had no idea that calling someone a “nipple” was in vogue….


Communing with the Gods

Four days of no internet.  Two days with no cell phone.  It was actually nice to get away.

We did eventually have to find our way to Harrisburg because they have a Wal-Mart there.  And it’s the most awesome Wal-Mart ever freakin’ made!  The aisles are wide, the product was displayed on nice eye level shelving, and THEY SELL LIQUOR!  Not just beer, but an aisle of wine (not in boxes) and fifths of anything from Crown to Captain.  I was in awe.  Never, ever, ever, thought I’d see a Wally World that sold liquor.

We had to get a new air mattress because on night one we found out that ours apparently has a leak in it.  By the time we decided to get up, we were laying on the ground.  This is where we also purchased our very first GPS unit.  We opted for the inexpensive Garmin nüvi 1100.  I was all kinds of excited.  Like a kid at Christmas with a new toy.  I started pushing this and touching that and got it all set up and ready to navigate us back to our campsite.

Then that stooopid GPS lady told us to turn down this gravel road…

As gravel roads go, this one isn’t that bad.  We thought this would just be a “cut through” to the main road that we weren’t aware of.  We couldn’t have been more wrong.  After this road, that same stupid ass GPS lady said turn right onto Derby Road.

This is Derby Road.  I would have called it more of a Derby path, but she said it was a damn road.  This is the “good” end of the path.  About half a mile after I took this photo, it turned into something only a Jeep with a 3 inch lift kit should be driving on.  Seriously.  I was too preoccupied with the fact that my 2008 Kia Spectra5 was nearly stuck in a mini-ravine with only two tires touching the Earth to remember to photograph the hilarity.

It was worth all the cussing and fussing for these views and some time to just relax…


And a real life, honest to goodness telephone booth!  I tried to get Chris to stop here on the last trip, but he was in too big of a hurry to get home.  He humored me this time around though and I was shocked to discover there was actually a pay phone in the booth.  Even more shocked to realize it was a working pay phone!  So I called up Bill & Ted…

Tomorrow’s post will be brought to you by Kaia and Neil, who discovered the video function on my point & shoot Kodak.