I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. – Lily Tomlin

Archive for September 10, 2010

Friday Flip-offs – September 10th Edition

It’s that time again… virtual detox day normally brought to you by Gigi at Kludgy Mom, but for the next few weeks will be hosted by Momma Kiss!  Gigi is hosting a Back to School, Back to Blogging class.  Join up!

To Scott Waste Management… That’s right, I’m calling you out by name this time.  You’ve been on my list before and I am certain that if others in my area did a Friday Flip-off you would be on their lists as well.  Your drivers are horrible.  Your schedule has me wondering if you even know what a schedule is.  If I forget to place my container by the road the night before, your driver arrives at not a minute past 5AM.  If I have the damn container out there, he shows up whenever the hell he pleases.  My can is freakin’ overflowing…. come get the damn trash already!!   Until then… FLIP OFF!!

To the seeds of my loin…  I love you guys.  Wouldn’t give anything for either one of you because you are both priceless.  However if you guys don’t stop being such little brats… I may have to take extreme measures.  You are ungrateful and disrespectful and I’ve had all I can take.  The whining, the eye rolling, the complaining is going to stop.  While I know they aren’t going to be reading this blog, I’m writing this to remind myself that I’m the parent therefore I am the law.  So get with the program or FLIP OFF!

(Yes, I just flipped off my children.   Sue me.)

To the person who decided we must all have a “digital” television signal…  You suck.  Before the whole “digital conversion” we could receive about 11 different stations.  Now we get 3.  Of course those 3 stations only come in clearly on perfect days.  And even then sometimes it’s just hit and miss.  At least with the analog signal we could get something that resembled a signal and not all those weird little boxes all over the screen and the annoying sound of what resembles a bad cell phone connection.  I just want my local news!  Is that too much to ask for??  Argh… FLIP OFF!

To overly zealous religious folk…  Burning any religious artifact or book is wrong.  I am not of any certain religion myself (and this is quite possibly because of all those overly zealous religious folk) and even I know that burning a bunch of Qur’ans is not the smartest thing you could do.  Doing so serves no purpose and does nothing but make you look like an asshole and put the rest of the country in danger.  FLIP OFF!!

Do you need a virtual detox?  Add yours to the list by visiting Momma Kiss!  Have a great weekend!