See #1-10 here.
11. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f**k was going on when I first saw it.
12. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.
13. The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We
played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that’s is when I realized, yup, that’s a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.
14. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
15. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
16. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
17. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
18. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
19. Was learning cursive really necessary?
20. Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.