I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. – Lily Tomlin

Telemarketing Hell

As you may or may not know, we just recently moved. The move meant we would have to have a new phone number. That coupled with a new address are enough to drive anyone batty trying to remember to have everything changed over. I’m still trying to remember magazines that I need to notify!

The first day we had our new number turned on –THE FIRST DAY– they started calling. Luckily, we actually missed the first call. They were not deterred.

“Hello. As an active senior, would you like to apply for a reverse mortgage today? Press 1 to talk to a representative today.”

“Hello. Are you aware you could be missing out on death benefits? Press 1 to apply for your death benefits today.”

“Hello. I have no idea why my computer dialed your number as the thing(s) I am hocking have no relevance to you whatsoever, but you can press 1 now to speak with a representative who also has no clue why they are calling you.”

The first call was a surprise. A surprise because I can’t remember the last time I got a telemarketing phone call. It did remind me to put my new number on that all important DO NOT CALL list. Listen people, it’s very important to do this too! Trust me.

We continue to get calls. At least one or twice a day. Trying to sell me things that bare nothing in common with my family.

I’m not over 60, I don’t need a reverse mortgage, I’m not dead. Stop calling me. If I want those things, I’ll call you.

Every time I get the little recording selling something ridiculous at best, I wait … then press 1. I always say the same thing and I continually get the same response.

“Yes, hello. Our number is on the Do Not Call list. Could you please stop calling?”

The response.

“Are you sure???” Always sarcastic, like I have no clue whether it really is or not.

“Absolutely sure.”

Click. They immediately hang up on me. No thank you for your time. No sorry for the intrusion. No nothing. Just a click.

Today, it wasn’t an initial recording, but a real honest to goodness person. She, of course, pronounced my name wrong.

“Mrs. I’m Not Saying Your Name Right??”

“This is she.”

“Hi, I’m Whatever Her Name Was. I am selling Whatever She Was Selling….”

I interrupt. “I’m sorry, but our number is on the Do Not Call listing.”

“Are you sure?” (Yes, of course, you are going to say that….)

“Absolutely sure.” I wait for the click.

“Well, when did you put it on there?”


I couldn’t take it anymore…. I let loose on her.

“It doesn’t matter when I put the damn number on there. It’s on there and I’m tired of getting these harassing f***ing phone calls!!!”

Click. That was me. Hanging up on her. Without so much as a See Ya Later!

It felt good too!!!


Comments on: "Telemarketing Hell" (3)

  1. Was she stupid or what?

  2. yeah.. but…. "are you sure".. it felt good??? HAHA That's funny.

  3. Yes…Mrs.Bueflee.My name is Jomamma and I am calling to let you know that you were entered in our fabulous sweepstakes to win a brand new toilet scrubber, and Congratulations, You've Won! Now to process your prize, I'll just need your credit card number, your social security number, the routing number on your personal checking account, a blood sample, a picture of your house, a hand drawn sketch of your spouse, two freckles from your son, and a baby tooth from your daughter.Does this sound like something that interests you?Hello?Mrs. Bueflee?

Comments are closed.