I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. – Lily Tomlin

My friend, Jeep Chick, completely beat me to writing a post about the horrors of picking up Girl Scout cookies. She was on top of it! Me… well, I barely got out of bed this morning. I’m sure you are currently aware by now of my laziness factor. Today’s lack of motivation wasn’t due to the laziness. It was the aching of my sore worn out muscles. I knew that movement was going to be limited today due to the over exertion from yesterday, but whoa… I think what makes the ache worse was all the stuck up and even more lazy than me people.

Who wears high heeled (velvet) boots to unload cases of cookies or anything for that matter? Who wears their “Sunday best” to a dirty, dusty, stinky tobacco warehouse? Who doesn’t wait in line in a timely fashion? Who rolls their eyes and huffs like my 7 year old? Well, I can tell you who. Ms. High Heels and Ms. Uppity Pants.

First off let me start by explaining that I had too semi-sick children who had stayed home from school yesterday. I say semi-sick because on the inside…they were sick, but on the outside… they were just annoying the crap out of me all. day. long. I couldn’t get them in to the pediatricians office until 11:15AM. I knew that the truck hauling all that chocolaty Girl Scout cookie goodness would be arriving soon after than appointment. I was hoping to get some lunch in the kids before having to go to the warehouse, but as fate dictates my life… I had to go straight from the doctors office to the warehouse.

Upon arriving, I become aware of Ms. High Heel. Might I add that Ms. Uppity leaves her Toyota minivan running the entire time we were there. Which was about 3 hours. Not very environmentally conscious are we, Ms. Uppity Pants? Once the truck arrived….it was chaos. There was no organization at all. It was like every (wo)man for themselves. Who can unload the most cases of cookies off the pallet in record time. I felt like I was running from here to there with a box under each arm. Like a drag race with cookies. By the time we get the cases off of the pallets, I am gasping for breath. Some one please….. send reinforcements!!! Now I wasn’t running like Flash Gordon fast enough to not notice the little ladies who weren’t doing anything. The ones that were just kind of standing or sitting around watching everyone else or chasing toddlers. Or the lady who was barking orders and not actually doing any hard labor herself. By the time we were done sorting, re-sorting, and distributing the cases to the correct troops, I probably could have had someone scrap me up off the floor. Just sweep me up with the tobacco leftovers.

I probably shouldn’t even start in on how Ms. High Heels and Ms. Uppity Pants took it upon themselves to just start packing their cases right out the door. Not listening to the three or four people who told them that we load up cars in order of which troops leader arrived first. You get there first, you get your cookies first. Here is when the eye roll/huff incident took place. Another troop, who was there somewhere around FIRST, backed a car in to load up their loot. Ms. Uppity Pants decides to say,“Could you move your car so we can get to our boxes?”…. To which the reply was NO. There is an order. You get there first, you get your cookies first. That’s when it happened. A grown ass woman rolled her eyes and huffed. I was expecting her to stomp her foot too, but no such luck. Instead of just waiting, like everyone else, they started packing their cases around everyone loading up the first troops boxes and then… then Ms. High Heels moves her spotless Escalade in the middle of the drive so it’s near impossible for anyone to get their vehicles in or out of the warehouse. THEN she is even more impatient and after about 15 mins of her vehicle being in the way outside the building, she drives inside and completely blocks in the first troops van. That is loaded and ready to go, but now has to wait for the pretty, pretty Escalade to move. We all, literally, all of us, just stood there staring with mouths gaping open. Seriously??? Seriously.

Once that was over, everything went fairly smoothly. Our troops sorting went easily with only one snag. A lack of Trefoils. Ahhhhhh! Panic ensued, but we found the missing boxes and all was well.

Now…. who wants some Girl Scout cookies!?!?!?


Comments on: "{I Heart Girl Scout Cookies-Not} Redux" (4)

  1. I NEVER wanna see another *@#(*&$ Girl Scout cookie, or the $(*&#(*&$ bitches that were up there again. I haven't even brought myself to opening a box and eating one…

  2. LOL! That was the very first thing I did when I got home last night. I changed out of my jeans, cracked open a box and ate. I figured for all my trouble, cookies before bed at 10PM was worth it.

  3. Entertaining but so true!! I heard from someone else how bad it got!! So sorry for you guys!!! Anywho, thank god I have two ppl that keep me entertained with their daily lives! Luv Ya!!

  4. Umm…Girls Scouts is a bloodsport.

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