I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. – Lily Tomlin

I Gots the Stupid

Excuse me Miss. Miss…?? What I wanted to say was,

“I don’t understand a word you just said.”

It seems my ability to retain general knowledge of a subject was lost somewhere in all this mess. When I first made the fateful statement that I would help out with my daugther’s Girl Scout troop, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I knew there would be work, but….

Jeep Chick told me that there was going to be a “leadership” training session yesterday at the library at 10AM. OK, no problem I thought. Just a little booster on how to manage a group of 2nd and 3rd graders. I can handle that. Jeep Chick’s post about the ordeal explains it all really.

Once the “teacher lady” started to talk, I was lost. She sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher to me. I know she was telling me very important information, but I just didn’t comprehend anything. I was distracted by everything, like Jeep Chick was as well. I heard everything, but what the “wah wah” lady was saying. The lady on the typewriter. Yes, these do still exist. The little girl, whose parent I was never quite sure was there, playing LOUDLY on the wooden train set that was placed in the worst possible location in the library. The couple on the computer near us. The banging of the door opening and closing. Just noise, lots of noise. I couldn’t put it out of my head. Occasionally, I would come back to the conversation when Jeep Chick would get the “wah wah” lady off track. Which, I might add, was an easy task. She was more easily distracted than I am. Then out of nowhere… I’m yawning. Jeep Chick is yawning. The troop leader is yawning. It was contagious. The only person not yawning…. yep, that’s right, the “wah wah” lady.

We are soldiers though. We sat through not understanding a word for 3 hours. “Three hours?”, you say. Yea, three….hours….of…. waah wah wah, wa wahh wah wah. We came out with our sanity, or what little we have left anyway. I felt bad though. Jeep Chick still had to go to the grocery store and by the time we got out of there it was 1 o’clock in the afternoon. Not a good time to be in Wal-Mart. Too many people. Not enough room.

Oh! Oh yea…I almost forgot! I had arrived at the library a little bit early so I thought I would get a new library card since I hadn’t been to this library in quite some time. It turns out that it had been 6 years! AND… apparently I had a $10 fine for returning some DVD’s 7 days late. The kicker is I don’t remember even seeing these movies. The librarian just gave me “the look” and said, “Well, I guess not. It was 6 years ago. But if you pay $5 today, I’ll wipe it all off.” Internally, I had the feeling that the Russian mafia was secretly standing behind me inbetween the rows and rows of books just waiting to pounce on me for my $5. Outwardly, I said, “Whatever.” Dug through my purse, gave the “Don” my $5, took my shiny new library card, and ran.


Comments on: "I Gots the Stupid" (3)

  1. Wah, wah wah wah…. I can kinda understand why she sounded like that now though… I was trying to read some of the manuals that she gave out yesterday- and I could feel myself nodding off… this sh*t is boring… New rules- 1.)Don't cut your hands off. 2.) Don't go pee by yourself.3.) Don't piss me off or I might pee on you and cut your hand off.That should cover it, don't you think?

  2. When did libraries get so darn distracting? Shame on them!

  3. It's your ADD. I swear you have it. And now, you've given it to Rubi. Way to go…(wink, wink)

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