I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. – Lily Tomlin

Little Umbrellas

in my drink

while I sit on the beach

with sand in my toes….

Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a ONE-piece bathing suit these days? Do retailers just assume that the only people who want to wear them are either pregnant or plus sizes? I might not be of the larger persuasion, but I don’t have a slim, trim, 19 year old body either. The only 2 one-pieces that I found were at Target and they were practically two pieces. The sides cut in so far that basically the only thing covered was my belly button. It sucked. Why are you trying to find a new bathing suit, you might ask. Well, because I woke up one morning, not too very long ago, and miraculously my body had changed form. For years now, I was a size 3ish. I knew I was gaining a bit o’ weight because I DON’T DO ANYTHING. I’ll be the first to admit my laziness, but when I realized on that fateful day that I couldn’t fit into any of my shorts anymore and my jeans were only wearable after putting them on and squatting in my bedroom for 20 minutes, I was kind of put off. My spirits were brightened though when it dawned on me that I could go shopping for some new shorts. There is nothing better than going shopping to make a girl feel better. The only place I could find decent shorts was Target (again with the Target). I quickly grabbed up the size 5’s and headed off to the fitting rooms. I’ve learned never just assume that the size is right. I put them on. I couldn’t breathe, but I got them on. I thought to myself that well, I usually don’t buy clothes at Target so maybe the sizes run differently. I bought a 7. Today, however, I discovered that everyone’s sizes are wrong because I had to buy 7’s in two other brands of shorts too! And good grief, I had to buy a large in a tank top at American Eagle. For God’s sake, I only weigh 120 lbs. Who sizes these clothes at these places anyway? This shirt was in the women’s department, but holding up the small tank, it would have probably fit my 6 year old.

Obviously, this is a rant because I’m getting older and have no control over the spread of my ass. I’m just not ready for the polyester pants and matching sweat suits just yet. I did, however, find some nice clothes at Steve & Barry’s. Sarah Jessica Parker’s brand, Bitten, is sold there. I found the clothes were stylish and actually comfortable and didn’t make me feel like I was trying to look 10 years younger than what I actually am. Bonus: they were having a Grand Opening Sale and everything in the store was only $8.98.

The whole point of this is the fact that I wanted a new bathing suit. A new bathing suit that fit me. A new bathing suit that covered up so I don’t look like a beached whale while I was, well, on the beach. I’m really glad that my friend, Ky Jeep Chick, asked me to go with her on a trip to the beach. We just got back from a nice family vacation. Even if the kids did leave early. This is going to be a girl trip. Just us and our girls. It should be an adventure to say the least. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to go our not, but I thought about it and yes, I did want to go. Today I got a fortune cookie that said and I quote,

“Many a false step is made by standing still.”

Glad I decided to go.


Comments on: "Little Umbrellas" (2)

  1. You look great, no matter what you think about the weight!! I've already told you that. I've been trying for years to find clothes that didn't make me look old, oh wait! I am old! Okay, never mind. By the way, more celebs are coming out with clothing lines that don't cater to stick people. Yay for me!

  2. I am so happy, and sooo jealous also. No, seriously–you and Steph both deserve to get to go!! I can't wait to see the pictures!!

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